第21部分(第1/8 頁)

known　revolt　against　the　privilege　of　wealth　（can　I　not　remember　spots　in　London　where　I　have　stood；　savage　with　misery；　looking　at　the　prosperous　folk　who　passed？）；　but　I　could　never　feel　myself　at　one　with　the　native　poor　among　whom　I　dwelt。　And　for　the　simplest　reason；　I　came　to　know　them　too　well。　He　who　cultivates　his　enthusiasm　amid　graces　and　forts　may　nourish　an　illusion　with　regard　to　the　world　below　him　all　his　life　long；　and　I　do　not　deny　that　he　may　be　the　better　for　it；　for　me；　no　illusion　was　possible。　I　knew　the　poor；　and　I　knew　that　their　aims　were　not　mine。　I　knew　that　the　kind　of　life　（such　a　modest　life！）　which　I　should　have　accepted　as　little　short　of　the　ideal；　would　have　been　to　them……if　they　could　have　been　made　to　understand　it……a　weariness　and　a　contempt。　To　ally　myself　with　them　against　the　〃upper　world〃　would　have　been　mere　dishonesty；　or　sheer　despair。　What　they　at　heart　desired；　was　to　me　barren；　what　I　coveted；　was　to　them　for　ever　inprehensible。

That　my　own　aim　indicated　an　ideal　which　is　the　best　for　all　to　pursue；　I　am　far　from　maintaining。　It　may　be　so；　or　not；　I　have　long　known　the　idleness　of　advocating　reform　on　a　basis　of　personal　predilection。　Enough　to　set　my　own　thoughts　in　order；　without　seeking　to　devise　a　new　economy　for　the　world。　But　it　is　much　to　see　clearly　from　one's　point　of　view；　and　therein　the　evil　days　I　have　treasured　are　of　no　little　help　to　me。　If　my　knowledge　be　only　subjective；　why；　it　only　concerns　myself；